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02 June 2008 @ 03:04 pm
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaiman
Current Location: home
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Dirty Little Secret- The All American Rejects
31 May 2008 @ 08:23 pm
Love, you hate it, yet you love it. That felling you get, when they walk by, those butterflies in your stomach. That felling that you get, when you talk to them, heck even look at them. I know we've all had that feeling.
But, its not always so good. That felling of hatred whenever someone else talks to them. You just want to punch them.
You could say it's love, or a crush, but what do you do when it's love, and the other person barely knows you? I know this sounds funny, but I really don't know what do about it. Whenever he comes over, I feel all jittery inside. When he talks to me, (which is like barely, except in T.A.P) I want to faint. I feel stupid that I feel like this, that I'm just crazy, but things have been changing latley.
I notice him glancing over, and I always smile. He does weird thiings in Science, but then again, so do I. In T.A.P I wonder if it's true that he really does need my help, or if he just wants me to turn around. Yes, I know I sound like a little girl, swooning over one guy, but he's not just a guy, he's more than that. I know, anyone reading this should be like, "why aren't you doing anything about this yet?!" it's because I'm confused. Confused on life, love, friends, and flirt. He's such a flirt, and that's what I'm afraid about, that he's just flirting.
And another problem, I'm not your usual beautiful 8th grader, I'm really not that pretty. Small speech impedement, thunder thighs, Asian jokes on me, (And I'm not Asian!!!) and wacky friends. But, I think I'll know whether or not, to keep this up on Graduation. (I know, graduation for 8th graders, but I'll be going to the high school next year) I'm going to look sparklingly beautiful that night, in my black and blue halter dress. Even my cuz told me I looked good, (DON'T BE GETTING ANY IDEAS ABOUT THAT!!) so I'm hoping fo;r it.
Sorry, bout all that, it's just hard telling your friends this is how you feel about someone, it's easier just to tell all these people that you don't know, so there you have it.
Current Location: home, at my desk
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Passion, Utada Hikaru