I think I'm doing this right. And this one is just better looking than my last one.


Comment, and then I might, think about it. XD
Just a couple of things before you ask.
1) It might help that we have a couple of things in common
2) You can't be a jerk

I'm still listening, still crying, still bleeding my love...

I have never, ever cried over a boy. Well, last night was the first time. I found out that he's going to St. John's. Here comes the deep depression. When they played 'Bleeding Love' last night, I almost broke down crying. I can't help it though! I think I'm actually in love with him, that's why.
None of my friends can help me. There's three possible reasons why;
1) I'm a really good actress, and they don't notice how depressed I am
2) They don't care.
3) They aren't good friends, so that's why they don't care.
I'm going to go with 1, but it's hard to talk to my friends about stuff like this. Even my bff, Ann Marie, I just can't do it. I'm usually not the friend who is all over some guy.
I'm going to be listening to Bleeding Love until I can't cry anymore. This is going to be awhile. I need to cry for a whole 180 days.
I know this is very unhealthy, but it's hard, it really is. Can anyone help me? Cuz this is going to be one very loooonnnnggg summer if not.

Urgh, graduation sucked caboodle. It was hot and very long, not to mention all those people! Though I must say, I did look fabulous. My dress was black, a halter, and had blue ribbion. There was white flowers. I got it from JC Penny! My heels were small, yet I'm surprised I could walk in them.
The dance was shit, just going to say it. The DJ couldn't play any songs, like none! Stupid Mrs. Houle, I knew I should of killed her when I had the chance. *hits self over head*
I did the best I could to dance, I'm not one for dancing, never really have. the whole arms over head thing, it seemed to work alright. We got yelled at for going out in the rain. I'm sorry if you butts left the door open, and it was raining out. The lightning was pretty.

Urgh I have to go back to school in like, 3 hours for graduation. If you can call this a graduation, going from small, 8th grade middle school to freshmen at Oakmont. Yeah, we have to dress up, like in a dress. I find it funny how all the guys are all like, "yeah, I'm going to wear shorts and all this stuff." while us girls, are like. "OMG!! what are we going to wear? Does this go with me, do I look fat in this? Do my shoes match?" though, I hate asking those questions, sometimes you have to do it.
Yeah, and I have to walk up, IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL!!!! Knowing me, I'm probably going to trip, yep just wait for it. I'll be walking up in my heels, and trip over a piece of dirt. Just great. And after, we have a dance. Urgh, I am not one for dancing. I can't dance for crap. Well, I think that, I don't know what he thinks...
I can see myself crying though. I mean, this is going to be the last time all of us are together like this! most of us are going to Oakmont, some Monty Tech, others are going to different schools in the district. I'm just going to start bawling my eyes out. Urgh, I am also not one for crying.

I just finished my book report book, it's called "Soul Music" by Terry Pratchett. It's about Death, trying to forget some bad memories, so he takes a holiday. His granddaughter, Susan, has to fill in for him. She gets used to it, until her heart goes, "twang" for one of her victims, which is saved by an unknown source. This man is named Imp, or Buddy in the beginning, leaves his hometown to join a rock band. Where he buys this weird guitar after some guys sits on his harp. I recomend it for anyone! it's really good.

Yesterday, I went to Boston with my whole entire grade. we took Wilson buses to get there, and thank god we did, it was so hot, and there was an A.C. We had to be at school for 6:15 in the fricken morning, I'm still sleeping then if it was a regular day. GRRRR
Our first stop was a tour of Fenway Park, home of the Boston Red Sox (if you didn't know that.) I've been to Fenway a lot, but it was still kinda fun. I've never been up on the Monster seats. We were walking up the stairs, and some kid in my group, Evan, trip on the last one, it was really funny. It was so hot though, and it didn't help that it was only like, 8 o'clock in the morning.
Next, we went to the harbor. We took a tour on this huge boat called the Spirit of boston. There was another school on, and they were watching us dance. But, I didn't care, we were the party people. At first I had no idea what any of the music was, it was like heavy rap stuff, and I kinda don't really like that. The food wasn't that good either. They messed up on the steak! How can you screw up steak? There was so much jellyfish everywhere. I always think of the jelly fish in sponge bob, but these were almost clear. it was so nice to be out in the harbor, it was windy, and not that hot, unless you were dancing inside.
After, half of us went to 5 Wits Tomb. It was like this Egyptian place. Our tour guide kept getting so agravated with our group. It would go dark, and we would start screaming our heads off on purpose. There was this music part that we just couldn't get right, cuz we just kept hitting the buttons. I think it was kinda historically inacurate. Unless someone can explain to me everything they know about a jackal.
Then, we went to the Scooper Bowl. The ice cream was sooo good. There was this Lemon thing. It wasn't exactly ice cream, but not italian ice either. maybe frozen yorgurt, I'm not sure, but it was soooo yummy. Me, Erin, Bri, and Elyssa just kept walking back and forths between the booths.
The last place was the Hard Rock Cafe. It sucked caboodle. We were like, the third people who got ordered, and we were one of the last people to get our food. I was such in a bad mood that I started throwing pickles and french fries at the wall, trying to avoid Elyssa. And the food wasn't even that good! And the service sucked. All of the waiters and waitress were so mean, like sticking tongues out, and dropping ketchup bottles on people's heads on purpose! Yep, that happened to my friend Kayla.
On the way back, I was seriously going to chuck someone out the window. The only thing good about it was that, he was in my group. Yes, him. The one that I've had the huggest crush on all year, the one that I've fallen head over heels for. Anyways, the trip was fun, except for the whole food and chucking people out windows thing. I recomed anyone going to any of these places.

I just got back from my sister's Dance Recital. Whoa, is all I've got to say. There was like this hip-hop class of like 10 year olds, and wow, could they dance. I can't even do that. And then, my sister's jazz song was, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. That is so going to be her in a couple of years. Thank god I'll be a senior and hopefully moved out. But these people were awesome. the little kids were sooo cute! They didn't know what to do, and just kept waving at their parents. It was just really good.

Yay! We kicked ass yesterday! We won our last game of the season 4-1! That means only 2 loses out of 8 games! We were best in the league! Go Outlaws!!! (that's the name of the soccer team)

I just saw the clip for Twilight. I can't believe they're making that into a movie. Though, that wasn't the way I pictured Bella and Edward. This guy doing Edward, he better look much hotter than he is now. Because, Edward is hot, not just hot, but like, darkness hot. (If that makes any sense.) Though I still can't wait to see it! I have to wait all the way to December before it comes out though! GGRRRRRR

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaiman

Love, you hate it, yet you love it. That felling you get, when they walk by, those butterflies in your stomach. That felling that you get, when you talk to them, heck even look at them. I know we've all had that feeling.
But, its not always so good. That felling of hatred whenever someone else talks to them. You just want to punch them.
You could say it's love, or a crush, but what do you do when it's love, and the other person barely knows you? I know this sounds funny, but I really don't know what do about it. Whenever he comes over, I feel all jittery inside. When he talks to me, (which is like barely, except in T.A.P) I want to faint. I feel stupid that I feel like this, that I'm just crazy, but things have been changing latley.
I notice him glancing over, and I always smile. He does weird thiings in Science, but then again, so do I. In T.A.P I wonder if it's true that he really does need my help, or if he just wants me to turn around. Yes, I know I sound like a little girl, swooning over one guy, but he's not just a guy, he's more than that. I know, anyone reading this should be like, "why aren't you doing anything about this yet?!" it's because I'm confused. Confused on life, love, friends, and flirt. He's such a flirt, and that's what I'm afraid about, that he's just flirting.
And another problem, I'm not your usual beautiful 8th grader, I'm really not that pretty. Small speech impedement, thunder thighs, Asian jokes on me, (And I'm not Asian!!!) and wacky friends. But, I think I'll know whether or not, to keep this up on Graduation. (I know, graduation for 8th graders, but I'll be going to the high school next year) I'm going to look sparklingly beautiful that night, in my black and blue halter dress. Even my cuz told me I looked good, (DON'T BE GETTING ANY IDEAS ABOUT THAT!!) so I'm hoping fo;r it.
Sorry, bout all that, it's just hard telling your friends this is how you feel about someone, it's easier just to tell all these people that you don't know, so there you have it.